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“There are moments in which the teacher, as the authority, talks to the learners, says what must be done and establishes limits without which the very freedom of learners is lost in lawlessness.”

- Paolo Freire

As a social media user and advocate for social tools I am always encouraging my students to develop a relevant identity for themselves as emerging professionals.

As a teacher, my job isn’t merely to point my students to these tools and say “go for it! do whatever you want!” but to urge for responsible, professional and intelligent use. This is not about self censorship or fear mongering but basic common sense.

Much of my thinking on this issue arises from my own long term participation in online life and culture and the psychology of cyberspace.  It is a matter of received knowledge, not speculation, that certain behaviours, like acting out, attention seeking, risk taking and over-sharing, are especially and intensely activated in online and computer mediated social spaces.

“True self” or Right Now Self?

One of the biggest – and most convenient – misconceptions about self restraint online is that it is somehow limiting or “censoring” of a so-called “true” or “real” self, when in actuality, the issue is not a reduction of self but a reduction of impulsivity:

“The inhibiting self: The concept of disinhibition may mistakenly lead us into thinking that what is disinhibited is more real or true than the part of us that inhibits. If we can just peel away repression, suppression, and other defense mechanisms, we will discover the “real” self that lies below. Based loosely on the kind of archeological approach to intrapsychic structure proposed by Freud, this notion suggests that the personality is constructed in layers, with more true or real features of personality existing at a deeper level.

This is a simplistic interpretation of the much more dynamic psychoanalytic model which states that the inhibitory processes of repression and defense mechanisms are components of personality no less real or important than others.

Psychoanalytic clinicians believe that understanding defenses is crucial to the success of the therapy because it reveals hidden thoughts, feelings, and needs. Why does a person repress something? Why is it being inhibited? Bypassing defenses to get to the “true” self may also bypass the opportunity to discover aspects of the inhibiting self that are just as true. When these defenses and elements of the inhibited self are worked through, remnants of them sometimes remain to serve an important function. Sometimes they evolve into productive aspects of one’s personality independent of the problematic emotions that were originally defended.”

While self restraint may not be the most entertaining or amusing form of self, it is the expression of self that is most consistent with certain expectations of the professional world. For example: responsibility, maturity, trust, boundaries, composure and basic dignity.

Creating a professional persona

So what can we do to be “ourselves” productively online? I have a few ideas based on the self performance of experienced online professionals – people who have been online longer than anyone else.

1. The online bio: The real you (but with a purpose)

Be yourself, but consider your purposes. Is your self expression aimed at micro-fame or a viable professional identity that is supported by your skills, experience and insights? A bio doesn’t have to be dry to be professional. Playfulness gives us a sense of your personality. But a professional bio should tell us who you are as professional – save cute, self indulgent or snarky asides for instant messages.

There are plenty of things we can share about ourselves and our interests that are somewhat personal but highly productive. For example, the books we read, the music we enjoy, the places we have visited, sports or hobbies that enrich us as whole persons. This kind of sharing is very different than exhibitionism.

2. Avatar intelligence: Are you looking for a job (or a date)?

If you’re creating a profile that is searchable under your own name you also know that this is available to prospective employers. Self image matters. And self presentation says a lot about who and what matters to you.

A sexy photo may be fine for your friends or for a dating profile, but it leaves a lot to be desired as a professional portrait. For women especially, banking on your sex appeal may send the wrong message to prospective colleagues or employers. Namely, that you rely on your looks – not your brains – to get ahead. Furthermore, cultivating an overtly seductive or sexual persona can pose a very real safety issue.

3. Contributing value: Signal v. noise (and the desire for attention)

If you’re creating a professional identity for yourself you want to create content that reinforces that identity. For example, if your goal is to obtain a position within a publishing house, you’re far more likely to convey your merits as a publishing professional if you are talking about and interested in publishing. Sharing relevant, thoughtful and interesting content is the way we offer value as professionals. If, however, you devote the majority of your online content to your personal or social life, you aren’t saying much about your insights in the field you are (supposedly) passionate about. Personality and passion are important components of professional identity when complimented with insight, intelligence and maturity.

4. Responsible sharing: Impusivity versus inhibition

Inhibition and disinhibition are two contexts of behaviour that are especially meaningful to our professional lives. Impulsivity is one of the downsides of our always-on digital age. In seconds, we can post, send or broadcast whatever thoughtless content we like. This is not only irresponsible but dangerous.

What we got up to at a party shouldn’t be delivered to a profile you use to identify yourself as a professional person. Broadcasting while inebriated, discussing your love life or using your network to attack or bully others conveys a lack of self control with socially relevant inhibitions around trust and responsibility.  It’s very simple: if you lack the judgment to post about your interpersonal relationships with others, you are not conveying a strong (or stable) trust metric.

What might have seemed fun after a couple of glasses of wine on a Friday night, may be read very differently by a colleague or client who came across your content months (or years later), in the sober light of day. Furthermore, what you and your friends (and your audience) deem amusing or acceptable may be read very differently by people who are assessing you outside of your peer group. Continually acting in the moment, while gratifying, conveys a lack of restraint and self control.

Sense not censorship

The advice about isn’t about changing your “personality,” it is about making informed and thoughtful choices about the nature of the content you post online. Defining your limits is a basic aspect of social intelligence that conveys maturity and an expression of the productive self discipline required to participate meaningfully in life and work.

Self control/discipline, limits and appropriateness may not matter to you, but they most certainly do matter to those who are paying you for your time. They also matter in relation to questions of basic responsibility and trustworthiness. I’m simply not going to hire someone to represent my interests who is clearly unable to manage their own. It is too easy to say “I won’t work for anybody who “judges” me.” What’s harder is making choices that aren’t all about immediate gratification.

How you choose to interpret the above advice is up to you. But it is reflective of contexts of social intelligence and accepted behaviours of professional life that have been around for a very long time. These rules, however much we may wish for them to change, have very real meaning for the people who decide to employ us and entrust us with a wider reputation and responsibility than amusing our online audiences.